emotasticxsteph (emotasticxsteph) wrote,

  • Mood:

Hello to EVERYONE and yes I mean EVERYONE. I am currently writing a short story (nonfiction/ autobiography) and I desperately need feedback. I'll be posting parts of the story everyday so if you see something you like, dislike, or an error- PLEASE COMMENT. I beg of you! Thank you- and I hope to hear back from you guys. Here we go.


She stood before the large brick building and shivered. Clutching onto her jacked and her stuffed kitten even harder, the young girl was being led through the doors. Open eyed and small, the young girl stared at the police officers as they kindly explained to her the procedures. She took off her jacket and placed her kitten on the scanner machine without making a sound.

“Thank you,” the police officer said before the girl headed towards the law library.


“Now, remember Stephanie,” Terry said, “you just tell the truth to the judge.” Stephanie nodded her head and looked around. Nobody in there was her age. Not one person. But everyone in the cafeteria was dressed up in suits and talking quickly, as if they wouldn’t ever be able to talk again, and had to say everything at that moment. Stephanie was quickly reminded of the stories that she had told Terry, her dad, and her step-mom, and was reminded not to leave those out.

“The judge isn’t going to be mean,” Terry said to her, “but your mom will be in the room.” Stephanie closed her eyes and thought about that word. Mom. She dreaded that word, she really did. As her eyes were closed she remembered all those things that her mom did that really didn’t make her, her mom.


“Mom, I’m hungry, can I please have something to eat?” Stephanie asked.

“God damnit Stephanie,“ Pricilla screamed from the other room, “why do you always have to fucking complain about everything? Don’t you see that I’m in the middle of doing something? I mean, damnit!”

“Alright,” said Stephanie as tears were building up in her eyes.

She hated weekends. It was when her mother was the worst. And clearly, she was not in the best of moods this Saturday afternoon. Stephanie wondered what was wrong, but she wasn’t about to ask. Even if she did ask, she was too young to understand. She sat in her chair, staring out the apartment window.

She wondered what her dad was doing today, but figured he was working. Her parents had been divorced for a long time, so long that she barely remembered it. Her mom had her the majority of the time, and she saw her dad some weekends when he wasn’t working. More than ever, she missed him, because she was hungry and scared.

STEPHANIE!!” her mother shrieked. Stephanie was startled and looked at her mother who was standing in their small white kitchen. “What do you want to eat?” she asked rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “I have mac n’ cheese left over.”

“Um, okay,” Stephanie quietly replied, looking at their grey stained carpet.

“Fine,” Pricilla said back to her as she opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a glass plate of mac n’ cheese. Pricilla quickly stuck the glass plate in the microwave and hit a few buttons before Stephanie heard it start. Stephanie waited patiently and stared at the small brown table at which she sat. She knew better than to make any noise at this point, otherwise she might not even get anything to eat. After waiting for about a minute, she heard the beeping of the microwave. Pricilla opened the microwave and grabbed the plate quickly and took about two steps before realizing how hot it was. She dropped the plate to the ground where it shattered and broke into small pieces. Stephanie looked up in astonishment.

“Mom, do you need help?” asked Stephanie staring at the small pieces of macaroni all over the grey carpet.

Before she even knew what was happening, her mother rushed towards her angrily. “God fucking damnit!!Pricilla screamed as she grabbed a hold of Stephanie’s long braided pony tail. She ripped the small girl from off her chair and dropped her onto the floor.

Stephanie began to scream “PLEASE MOMMY LET ME GO!!!” as tears began flowing from her light brown eyes. Pricilla wouldn’t let go of the girls chestnut brown hair and began to drag her across the carpet. Stephanie struggled and attempted to break free, but Pricilla’s monster grip kept Stephanie from freeing herself. Finally reaching her room at the end of the hallway, Pricilla threw Stephanie inside using her long braided hair. The door slammed heavily and Stephanie heard Pricilla shouting some more. Stephanie cried loudly. She slowly began to crawl across the floor but fell back onto her stomach after a second. She curled up into a tight ball and grabbed the back of her head before screaming in pain. Sitting like that for a few minutes made her feel better, and she began to crawl to her bed. She pulled herself up slowly and layed there for the rest of the night, hungry and in pain.


Stephanie began to cry at the retelling of this story. She was only seven years old when this happened, maybe even younger. She looked up. Terry, her dad and her step-mom all stood and looked at her, with tears in their eyes.

“All you have to do is tell the judge things like that. Just the truth,” Terry said, comforting the young girl.

They all looked at her in disbelief. She really was mature for her age, this of course was because of the amount of pain that she had been through at such a young age.

“Stephanie, please remember the Michigan story,” her dad said quietly.

Stephanie closed her eyes tightly. How could she ever forget Michigan?

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic